Once they're comfortable with that, you can insert your finger(s) more deeply, as the prostate is about 2 to 3 inches inside the anus, closer to the anterior wall of the rectum. Wiggle it back and forth to loosen your partner up. Start by inserting just the tip of one finger at first. Make sure your nails don't have any jagged edges. If your partner is ready for insertion, make sure their anus and your fingers are oiled up. Don't insert a finger without permission. Start by massaging the outside of the anus with your fingers in a slow, smooth, and gentle circular motion. If they're game, you'll want to loosen up their anus with massage oil. It's OK to ask your partner how they like their testicles touched before you start or while you're touching them.Īsk your penis partner if they're interested in taking the prostate massage to the next level with an internal massage. Some people are more sensitive or ticklish than others. People differ greatly as to the kind of touch they like here. Massage the area around the testicles and penis (i.e., the pubic bone in the front, the inner part of the thighs, and the perineum-or taint-which is the area between the testicles and the anus).īe careful with the balls. You can also cup them in your hands and fondle them in the palm of your hand. You can use your fingernails gently on the testicles, or pull them slightly. Compliment them on something you like about what you're seeing and touching. This will also make your partner feel more relaxed. Start by sliding your hands up and down the thighs before getting to the good stuff. Use your favorite massage oil (I prefer coconut oil because it smells yummy) to oil the shaft of the penis and the testicles. Think of it this way: Sacred sex is about approaching your partner's body as a temple and their penis as the most holy place of all. But for ancient tantric practitioners, this held a secret meaning: that this powerful God energy was in the penis, which was thought to contain the most masculine essence concentrated in one place. For most people, it represents a state of meditation. When I went to India to study tantra and yoga, I was shocked at first to see statues of the Shiva lingam that represented the God Shiva. There is also a tremendous amount of sexual energy or chi in a person's penis, and learning how to stimulate and circulate it is very powerful. Lingam massage is a practice that truly honors the penis and those who have them. If that is the case for you, take some time to reflect on any negative impressions you may have inherited from your parents or your culture. Many women I work with are still not totally comfortable with handling a man's penis. (The yoni massage might be considered the equivalent of the lingam massage, just performed on people with vaginas.) When you bring your partner pleasure through their "wand of light," you are filled with that same energy or light in a conscious exchange of energy in giving and receiving pleasure.Ī big part of sacred sexuality is learning to love the penis and not be afraid of it. Lingam is the Sanskrit word for penis and loosely translates to "wand of light." In tantra philosophy, we approach the lingam from a place of the utmost love and respect, the same way we approach the yoni, or vagina. Yes, multiple orgasms aren't just for people with clitorises! Instead, it's about trying to feel more and more pleasure that will become waves of multiple orgasms throughout the massage. The lingam massage isn't about having one orgasm and being done. Unlike your average hand job, the lingam massage involves not only massaging and stroking the penis but can also incorporate more advanced techniques, including the testicles, perineum, and the prostate (aka the Sacred Spot) as well. A lingam massage is a tantric sex practice focused on massaging the penis.
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